Nighthawk

Before you read:
This is actually the things I wrote for the ‘about me’ column, but I cant make it to 2000chrctrs, but I want you to know sumtin about me that…um… I think… not so many people have the same life as im going through, so I decided to write them here, just to share some of the experiences that I have. Hope you enjoy =)
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About me….

Do I have to write about myself?

Hm… Even a book is not enough to write about someone, right?

Well, im a Nighthawk ^_^"
Hey, its true! No joke. Im awake at night and sleep at dawn <and wake up at 12, usually…> ~_~; hum… some bad insomnia case. 
Im 5′6", raven haired, talkative and very loyal and faithful to the friends that I have<&my boyfriend, of course> even though some of ‘em treat me just the opposite.
Hey! What the hell im talkin about???!!! ;p

Im livin in an orphanage house. Not that im an orphan, but my Mom is the head of the orphanage. She’s been there since the former head, who was my Grandpa, passed away when I was three. <btw, its girls only>
Anyway, I wasnt really know this place but the thoughts that I keep questioning myself: "why I have so many people in my house??"
Btw, I never really care about them since I was just a lil kid <and maybe they thought so…>

hum… growin up in this house was quite difficult since… ya know, you got ur Mom divided her love and care not just for you and ur sister, but also to another….what… like THIRTY children and sometimes you just feel that you cant get enough love and attention from ur OWN Mother. And I have no one to turn to since my Dad was going to Japan, studying for a couple years <a couple years?? I think its not quite ‘a couple’ bcoz I spent almost the whole Primary&Junior High School without him! ~_~; >

obviously, I couldnt tell my jealousy to my sister who’s three years younger, so maybe I got a lil bit of pressure in my primary school-ages. That’s why I became a very quiet lil girl and had NO friends in those early years of Primary School. But im not that ‘quiet’. some of them, who are grown up now, said that im naughty as well. heehee… its a complicated thing right? someone say youre quiet and then others say that ur naughty. but hmmm… i gotta add that in school, im a quiet lil girl, but back home, im a naughty lil girl.

i remember i ever threw a big heavy comb to my sister’s head bcoz of any unreasonable reason. >_<;  so, i think i ‘explore’ everything at home, bcoz i cant do anything at school, since i have no friends. hum, that probably the thing… and its okay when ppl at school see me as a quiet-weirdo-girl who loves to daydreaming all the time. Well, I was, but I just daydream myself. Talked to an imaginary friend… I mean just imagined that there is someone besides you who will always listen to ur every words and every story even though they didnt make sense at all. And that… that was a very special thing to me. And right now I think that maybe I was speaking through my mind like writing my daily journal. Hahaha!!! but I thank God for that, bcoz right now, those things kinda help me to write everything I love, such as lyrics, short-stories, poetry and even novel.

Just by imagining… something =p

Anyway, at the moment, I started to think that ‘lack of attention from my own Mother’ probably is not the right words. becoz… I dunno, somehow I think that she gave everything and supported everything and always be there with the absence of my Father… I mean, just NOW I realized that I didnt lose anything from her. Maybe it was just my silly thoughts as a lil girl…
I still remember clearly how she always drove me to my music lessons, dance lessons, swimming lessons… she took me to the school every 7AM and then picked me up again in the afternoon, even when I stayed at school until night becoz of my bz activities.
Yeah, she always there. =)
But all those time, I had no idea about my Mom’s job. Hum… somehow, its embarrassing when someone asked you where you live and you gotta answer "oh, im living in an orphanage house." and for me, as a kid, it took a big step to say where I live. Bcoz its not very common when you have a big house with at least 25 people living in the same roof and they are not ur family. Pretty weird…

Alright! Back to the main subject, though I never considered them <the kids of the orphanage house> as an enemy%2

This entry was posted on Wednesday, October 26th, 2005 at 7:50 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.